Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy 1st B'day dear Angel

Well, it is 5 in the morning, and here I sit, unable to sleep. So many things on my heart, but this morning, it isn't about the move. Because of the fallen world we live, I don't get to celebrate our second childs 1st birthday with them. I'd like to think God our Father is throwing quite the bash up in heaven since I can't here.

Dear baby girl or boy,
It's mommy. I know you are perfectly content where you are, but you are missed greatly here. I am sad that we never even got to meet, but I know that day will come. I long for heaven for so many reasons, and you are definitely one of my top reasons. Yesterday in church we sang a song, "Soon and Very Soon" and it made me long for the day for Christ to come back and make all things right. I will get to meet you on that day and I can't wait to squeeze you up and kiss you all over. But for now, I know the Lord is holding you and doing far better than I could have ever done. I don't know if we will have birthday parties in heaven, but the Lord knows my heart better than myself, and maybe He can pull some strings and have a little party for you dear one. I do want to take a moment to apologize. I know there have been times that you have seen me deny your existence. When others ask how many children we have and I respond with 1 instead of 2. It is a hard question to answer for me, but I do count you as one of my babies. Mommy loves you very much and Daddy does too. My heart aches for the day that I can hold you in my arms, but I know the Lord is good and His plans for you were different than mine. Sarah Kate would have loved you so much too. I will tell her about you one day when she is older and you'll get to play with her one fine day. Well, I will let you get back to hanging with Jesus. I love you baby,

I hope when we get settled up in St. Louis, I can get back to some fun blogs, but this is just what is on my heart and I have to get it out. So many emotions this week about so many things. This being the week we would have celebrated our baby's 1st bday and the move makes for an emotional mommy this morning. I am so excited about our move and I know the Lord is going to grow us so much through this stage of our lives, but I will so greatly miss what we have been so blessed with here in Alabama. God is good though and truly it is a great comfort for me that this isn't home. St. Louis, Alabama, none of it is going to be home, just pit stops on our way to our true home, Heaven. And we will all have eternity to celebrate and worship Christ our Lord together and party with each other up there, where there won't be separation or pain or heartache.

Soon and very soon my King is coming
Robed in righteousness and crowned with love
When I see Him, I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon.
Soon and very soon I'll be going
To the place He has prepared for me
Then my sin erased, my shame forgotten
Soon and very soon.
I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon.
Soon and very soon see the procession
The angels and the elders 'round the throne
At His feet I lay my crowns, my worship
Soon and very soon.


  1. Oh My... tears have started! I don't know what to say....
    All I can say is.. I/we need the Lord's grace to make it.. and HE has never failed us! We'll have to keep our eyes on Jesus our wonderful, all sufficient, glorious KING!
    Oh sweet child... sweet little mommy... my heart aches for you!
    But just remember, "Our God is a great big God, our God is a great big God! I will not be afraid... I will not be afraid, He holds us in the palm of His hands, our God is a great big God!" He sees and knows your sweet and precious heart Michelle.
    I love you all so very dearly, my heart overflows with love and joy!
    Now may "The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26
    All my love, Nana

  2. I love you Michelle. There are others who haven't forgotten your sweet one in heaven either. Praying for you guys. So much change so many thoughts but you are never alone with your prayers and anxieties. And goodbye is never forever when Christ is our King.

  3. Michelle, I am crying with you... I've written such similar letters in my heart so many times, and will write another in 2 more days. My heart aches for you... but my heart also rejoices with you that we will see our precious little ones we miss so much one day. On that day we will no longer have to feel guilty for "denying their existence." -And best of all, we will be in the presence of Christ... the same One who has comforted us here as we long to be with Him! We are praying for you, especially this week with all that is happening. We love you and can't wait to hear all about St. Louis! (Actually, this is from Jonathan's Mommy, Rebecca! :))

  4. Oh my sweet daughter, as I sit here and read your words and remember the days I held your tiny little body in my arms, you were so tiny, my heart cries out to God for His peace and His arms to envelop you and Michael in ways that no earthly mother, father, husband, wife or child can hold us. Yesterday in church there was another song we sang that was my sweet daddy's favorite song and has comforted me so many times through the years. As we sang this yesterday tears came to my eyes and there was a sadness in my spirit and I couldn't quite put my finger on what was making my heart yearn so very much at that moment for God's presence. I thought, well Michelle, Michael and precious little Sarah Kate were moving so far away this week, it must be that. But now I know God was pricking my heart to remember what would have been my 3rd grandbaby's celebration of his/her's birth. And that sweet little one has touched the lives of you and Michael in ways that only God can accomplish through His omnipotent all knowing and all caring ways. I see the touch of The Father even in this great cost to you both. Oh the song......
    When peace like a river attendeth my soul
    When sorrows like sea billows roll
    Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
    It is well, It is well with my soul.....

    And Lord haste the day when the faith shall
    be sight
    The clouds be rolled back like a scroll
    The trumpet shall sound and The Lord shall
    Even so, it is well with my soul!

    And as Sarah Kate says,"AMEN!!!"

    The tears flow and my heart aches for you and Michael, my sweet Michelle, but just as God healed your body back years ago, He will bless you both again and your little one in Heaven will be rejoicing with Jesus for what The Heavenly Father is entrusting to the love and care of his earthly mommy and daddy. What or who that may be.....well all I know to say is...GOD IS GOOD.....and His love endures forever.
    Love you my daughter and other son and our little Sarah Kate
    See You In St Louis!!!!