Thursday, January 29, 2015

Move time...

Well...we are less than 2 weeks from our move date.  I feel like we have been running like crazy most days trying to do so many things to get ready to go and barely had time for processing what is about to happen.  I am so excited, yet grieving as well.  Since I can barely think clearly...I will give you my thoughts in list format...

*Here is how my brain works lately...-"We need to call____", "OH, we also need to___", "I am so tired, I will just lay here on the couch and write a list of those things", "Hmmm....what can I eat while I make this list", "I need a root beer"...and so it continues.

*I get tired easily these days being 30 weeks pregnant and it is hard for me to rest when my body is telling me I need to.  Michael is doing amazing at helping me do that though.  I am thankful for him.

*The lists are getting insane.  INSANE.  From phone calls, to forms, to packing, to sorting, etc., etc...

*I went to my last OB appt. yesterday.  I am now 30 weeks!  Doc sent me with all my paperwork so I can take it with me to England.  Pregnancy has gone well, I know I haven't blogged about it much...been a little busy I know.  Baby boy moves a lot and likes to kick me right on my left hip bones.  I told Michael I think I might end up with internal bruising from his jabs :)  I have been more sick this go around, but not horrible.  I have had round ligament pain (which I never had before) and the last few weeks I have been having indigestion like crazy every. single. night.  It's fun, let me tell you.

*I do love to watch my belly move all around.  It is probably my most favorite part of pregnancy.  It is amazing to see how there's a real life baby in there making my belly move.  I am amazed at our Lord every time I see and feel it.  I mean really, it is incredible to me.

* We are now officially living out of luggage pretty much.  Yesterday, we went ahead and packed up a good bit of our clothes (which we can still access out of our luggage), but needed to see if things were going to fit and how we were doing on weight.  We are planning to take 6-7 checked bags and each bag can' go over 50 lbs.  But we are trying to get each bag as close to that as possible to be efficient as well.  Then we have 4 rolling carry ons and an assortment of backpacks and such as well.

* I cried last night at church.  I actually had a good meltdown yesterday afternoon.  I laid on our bed after packing my clothes and sobbed.  It was more of an overwhelmed by so much to do and being pregnant and too tired to do it all sobbing.  I don't like the chaos going on right now and I can't control it.  The Lord is still working on me in terms of teaching me that I can't be in control all the time and have order, and that is ok.  He is showing me I am just going to have to trust him and rest in him during the chaos and know that He will take care of us through this whole transition.

*Then I cried at church.  I have held back tears the last 2 times we have worshipped at our home church.  Then I had tears last night.  I am going to miss our CPC family.

Maybe that is enough processing what is going on in my brain for now.  This move is getting real and we are days away.  I can't wait to get there in so many ways and settle into life in Culcheth.  I can't wait to set up our home and make it warm and cozy and inviting.  I can't wait to invite people over for dinner.  I am also anxious to see SK make new friends in the village and start school in the fall...and anxious about having a baby there.  I know the Lord will take care of all of my anxious thoughts.  He can handle them, I know that.

I was reading Mark this morning and am feeling a bit like the daddy in Mark 9, when he says, "I believe, help my unbelief!"  I cling to that and cry out the same thing this morning as my day begins. I struggle with my unbelief, but want so badly to believe.  I need Jesus.  I need lots of lots of Jesus right now.
Our shipment being taken...which should arrive a couple weeks after we get there.

The luggage line up.  Well...some of the luggage at least.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

January 5

I won't even try to make excuses for my lack in blogging.  Maybe I can dream that once we get moved I will have more time to get back to blogging.  eh....not too sure.

But for today, I am going to blog.  :)

What all have I missed recording in the blog...

Let's see...since Nov. 10th, we have been able to have Thanksgiving with family for the first time in 4 years, we took an awesome trip for the first time as a family to Disney world, we have gotten sick, celebrate the birth of our Savior, and done lots of things in preparation for our big move.  I think that sums up the big stuff at least.

After our wonderful Disney trip, we came back and immediately starting fighting off sickness.  First it hit SK, the Michael and I, then Evie and now it is back to SK, though she seems better today.  Yesterday though is what I had on my mind for blogging about.

Yesterday I found myself at the Pediatricians office with SK getting her checked out due to her sickness coming back again.  I was signing in at the front desk and had to write the date.  I asked since I wasn't sure, and it was Jan. 5th, said the nurse.

My heart sank.

If we hadn't lost our baby, and he would have been born on his due date, he would have been 5 yesterday.  5.

Then....we get called back to the room and are waiting on the doc to come in.  SK and I hear a little baby crying from another room.  SK then unexpectedly brings up her sibling that is with Jesus.  She asks how old he would be if he hadn't died in my belly.  I then tell her he would be 5 that day.  I tear up.

The Lord is faithful and fully comforting though.  He loved me in that moment and I felt it.  SK then proceeded to talk about how she can't wait for all of us to be together in Heaven and be able to celebrate her brother's birthday with him there.

**And to clarify if you don't know the story of our loss completely....we didn't know the gender of our baby, but I felt like it was a boy, so that is why I say "he".

Yesterday was a big day.  Along with realizing the date and processing the emotions with that, we also started the day with a 4 a.m. Skype call :)  We had friends (who are at the church we are headed to be with in England) go and look at a new house that came up for rent.  We were anxious to hear their thoughts on the house and if we needed to jump on it, since houses seem to be quick to be rented out and hard to come by.  Well, after chatting and seeing videos of the house, we decided to jump and send in our application for it yesterday.  We are now waiting to hear back from the application!  So we could have a house lined up now, which is a huge answer to prayers!

Things are starting to all fall into place for our move.  We are in the midst of packing up what we are wanting to ship and hope to have our shipment on it's way by the next week or so (it will take 6 weeks to arrive in England).  We, as of yesterday as well, now have all the luggage we need and have already begun trial run packs to see what we will be able to fit into our luggage and still be within the 50 lb. per bag limit.

We have about 5 weeks till our move.  It is crazy how quickly things are happening now.  We will probably order plane tickets later this week assuming we get our visas back today (which they should arrive today and Lord willing have been approved and all!).

Pray for our stamina.  There is still much to figure out in the next few weeks.  And all along the way I am still homeschooling SK.

Maybe I will get back on here soon.  First though, I have to go work on packing and sorting.  And eating...I like to eat these days too.  Baby boy seems to be awfully hungry these days.

Here's to hoping the new year brings more time for blogging...