This last week has been a bit of a ride for me really. Last weekend I found myself with worry creeping in about raising our children in a culture that is vastly different from the Southern "Bible belt" culture that Michael and I were both raised in. Now I know that raising children in any culture these days presents all kinds of different challenges, but I got a taste it seems of how challenging it will be to be diligent with our children to make sure they know the truth and the gospel penetrates every aspect of their lives.
Then Sunday came. The sermon pierced my heart. These kids are not my own. They weren't just put here on this earth as a gift to me for my enjoyment. While, yes, they are such a gift to me and Michael, they have a higher calling. They are to be fountains of blessing to everyone around them. We know that the Lord is calling us to England. That means he is calling our children as well. He has a plan for their lives and our prayer is that he will use them greatly to further His kingdom. It won't be easy. It will push me into a level of trust that I have yet to reach, I know. God is in control though and He is good. He wants good for our children.
I also have seen this week that we live in a fallen broken jacked up world. We lives surrounded by affects of the fall. We heard of some friends here in town who lost their baby due to miscarriage. That is messed up. Michael got a phone call yesterday that a friend of his in Birmingham who he worked with died last week after a long fight with cancer. He was only 38 (or somewhere close to that age...) and leaves a wife and 3 children.
I long for a day when I won't have to worry about what my children will be exposed to. For a day that I won't have to see friends separated from their babies far too soon.
In all of this crap though, God is good. I am thankful that he is bigger than all of this mess. He is sovereign and sits on his throne and will one day bring his children home to be with him. I am thankful that he is here in the midst of the mess. I am thankful that he chose to save a wretch like me. I am thankful that he is holding my children and will walk with them as they enter a culture that they won't know and will love them through the transition.
I am thankful He is God and I am not.
The sermon on Sunday reminded me that we are like ducks not in their element, the water. We one day will be, but for now we must trust that the Lord will carry us and take care of us. And that even in the mess of death, He is still here and knows our hearts. I don't understand completely, but I don't have to. I just have to remind myself that He is good and He loves his children.