I don't really know where to start. Life has been crazy for me this week. I feel like I can't even process everything well. I feel like the rollercoaster I am on just got added on to with all new twists and flips. I am confused. I am bummed. I am hopeful. I struggle with unbelief. I am angry. I am excited.
Yep. Welcome to my last few days.
Not sure how much to share now.
Just a glimpse for yall. We decided last month after talking with our doctor (remember that posts?) to go forward with clomid. I was not ovulating and this seemed like a road that the Lord was opening up for us. I am not very hopeful at this point that it worked or will work this month.
Add on to that that I have decided to take another job, on top of my full time nannying and caring for SK. Just part time. I am excited about it, but it is crazy. Really crazy.
I am seeing the Lord work through this, but I struggle with my unbelief.
Could this be that the Lord is openning doors for us to be able to begin looking towards adoption while here in seminary? Can we handle this? Where on earth will the funds come from? I wish money wasn't an issue. I really just don't like money. I know if the Lord is calling us to this, He will give us everything we need including the finances, the time, the sanity...
Today. I feel like crying. I want to trust the Lord, but I don't know if I even know how to in the midst of this craziness.