After my last post, I have had much encouraging words from friends. Thank you. As much as I don't want to see others go through similar problems, it is encouraging to not be in it alone. Please know that I pray for you. I appreciate you sharing yourselves with me too.
At church on Sunday, I was encouraged by this scripture:
"Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink (or when/if you will get pregnant), nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life (or control the amount of children we have or when we have them)? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6: 25-33
It is hard to not be anxious about wanting more children. But we can and should rest in the fact that God knows our hearts. He loves us. He loves us more than we could ever imagine. He has a plan and it will be beautiful. It will and does look very different than my plans, but He is good and is working through this. We have to trust, as hard as it is each day. I have to preach the gospel to myself each day and remind myself of these truths. I was thankful on Sunday to have this reminder. I hope it encourages you today like it has for me this week.